WHY?!

just asking.. why are some people cant hardly forget my past?! oh well almost all peeps in the office.. haaay I hate it actually. I want everything to be quiet but then again they keep on insisting things which are so irrelevant. haaay.. well its june so just so to refresh my mind, we would've been celebrating our 1st year on the 8th.. but well.. that's how it goes.. honestly, I want to END everything! i am so damn TIRED! i cant hardly imagine the reason why.. why am I having this experience after the break up? isn't it ironic?! I am the one hurt and yet I am the one being chased... well I know god has a plan for everyone and I know he has something for me.. I am and I will wait for it to come..

lazy!

lazy me! haha i dont want to work today... I feel like I want to go out and have fun with friends! hmmm where will I go? who's with me? ahahaha! Its Friday, I should have something to do later... where? where? where? I just got a pop from my cousin marge and she said she's not available on Sunday anymore.. well we should have a swimming on sunday eh sheeeshh!... hmmm maybe we'll just find time next month so we can all go out. I missed hanging out with my cousins.... because before we used to go out almost every week! haaay we're all busy and right now we can only have one short dinner and nothing follows..

LSS: After the Love has Gone

what am i up for this week? i dont know yet honestly.. well this past few days I've been praying and praying that somehow and someday I can fully say "i moved on"... weird feeling... sometimes i miss that someone and sometimes I don't... maybe its all because he has been part of my life. He was the first guy who has been really part of my life--my daily routine.. well lately i've been hooked up to earth, wind and fire's song "after the love has gone"... i don't know maybe I can fully relate to this song... coz now its "just yesterday" is all we have... every time we see each other here at the office its like we are both strangers and I can't blame myself of having this feeling because yes i am still hurting... everyone is saying he is not worthy for me.. well i know and i agree but the fact is i loved him and now I am making myself believe that he is indeed unworthy of everything. For the past 10 months I was terribly happy. I actually feel loved. I just dont know why everything changed. haaayyy God please help me.

indeed!

happy.. that's the best way to describe my feelings right now. I don't know why but I feel like i have forgiven that someone. yes indeed too fast huh? well that's me and I am proud of it.. i know and agree that I can only move on if I learned to forgive that someone who happened to be my worst nightmare. yes I am tough and that someone made me stronger than ever. I want everything in my life to be settled again--i want to regain my true happiness. officially happy now. thank God! I know everything will be perfectly fine everything in His time.

hey someone! super thank you. that's what i keep on telling you before and I am telling this again to you now. Thank you for making me stronger by saying goodbye. ;)

monday ;)

good morning! hmm what's in store for me this week? i dunno. maybe same old shit! o well i had a blast this long weekend. Last thursday, i went out with friends.. ahh that was fun! super!!! i guess I am now enjoying my life of being single wahahh! well thank you to dayle, ann, pierre and mike for at least making my night happy. we were all drunk! lol! haaayyy Im still praying that one day i will just wake up and say to myself... "im so ok"... im looking forward to that. pls pray for me. :)

attachment issues

I just came back from dinner with karen, EJ and joebel. Why? simply because it's my super friend's ABSi farewell dinner. Haay... 'twas fun! as in super fun! that was also the first time I had dinner with karen and EJ... such a juicy night.. got so many juicy chikas from them! wahahahahah! tsk! anyway.. seriously speaking, just this morning I was actually telling joebel that we are planning for some sort of "inuman session" but yeah she doesn't want to... haaay so we just settled for a simple lunch with dads, ariel, rene and crystal...then dinner with EJ and karen. I thought that was just a simple dinner but then again when we reached the parking lot.. tadahhhh!!! we were all crying! god! i hate goodbyes! I know she'll just be somewhere in Makati but still im gonna miss her. i will miss her BIG TIME! i never thought we'll be this close. she never left me especially during those days which yes I am 101% down. haaayyy well i guess i always have this attachment issues with anybody and anything... but life must go on and I am so happy to know that she will be 1 step higher now and will definitely have a better life with her new job.

haaayyy my friend... i'll just see you around... thank you so much for being A FRIEND. good luck!!! mmmmuaaaahhhhhuugggss!!! ♥

i never thought....

time flies so fast... it was just last year when I am so damn sad coz the one I wanted doesn't really want to take the friendship into a higher level. It was so sad... I liked him so much. I said to myself he's my one true love... I prayed. I prayed hard. My friends knew all about this. It was also just last year when someone came... he's totally different from the "one true love" i had. He's nice, simple, super friendly and most of all sweet. We dated for the first time. I am not so excited coz my "one true love" is still on my mind. But this someone is so sweet and he really know how to express his feelings towards me... I am now starting to enjoy his company... he became my constant textmate, fonepal, mall buddy and movie date. It was then that I am starting to realize that I am falling for this someone. I am HAPPY. I don't care if he is totally different from the guys that I wanted. It was just then that I realized that I love that someone. We became steady... He never changed. Yes, I feel like I found the man that I've been waiting for. He even managed to face my family. I feel so important and I feel so safe whenever im with him. I knew he's my man and he's mine. We were together for about 10 months and yes on our 10th month we broke up. SAD! SAD! SAD! DAMNN!! why? simply because of him having another woman. It was so painful. That was the first time I had this feeling and I never thought he can do this to me. Yes I am guilty for his reason of not being with him during his out of town trips, etc. but on my part I knew that I even explained this to him even before we went steady and I don't think that is a good reason for infidelity. It hurts big time! He said I am too good for him and he is so unworthy of my love and that he is still enjoying his life (of what? being a womanizer?) darn! The moment I heard this I was so MAD! I can't even write anything about this. Well I guess now that I can even have this post, maybe I am coping up. I am so tired of being sad-- of being mad. I want to end all this and move on.

Yes time flies so fast and I am thankful that for once in my life I met this someone. He made me stronger. He made me realize many things and to that someone, thank you for at least being with me for the past 10 months. Thank you for at least loving me. Thank you for the trust, care and attention. I will surely miss you. You've been part of my life and yes, I loved you so much. I love you but I also love myself. I need to go and move on.....

good luck!